MY STORY….. at church we had a guest speaker and if ever a message has touched me–it was that one!  He spoke about letting go of the old and embracing the new.  He illustrated that repentance isn’t always from “sin”–sometimes it’s as simple as letting go of one thought to embrace a second thought–like when God changes your direction in life.  He said that it seems like every time you get comfortable and things are going good in your life–it gets shaken up, and it’s time to let go of the old thought and embrace a second thought. 

My life has recently illustrated just that.  I lost my massage company in January of this year.  I lost my home, I lost 2/3 of my income.  I had to move back in with family so that I could get myself together again.  I wondered why that had happened to me, I was going to church-I was devoted to the Lord (as I am now)–and I was happy.  I was doing corporate massage in a local plant and it was paying wonderfully-and it was fun.  Then, I found that the bottom dropped out of my life.  It took me a few months to figure out what the Lord was trying to show me.  (I was not paying attention-because I was feeling sorry for myself and falling into self-doubt)

Then one day I sat down at my computer and out of the blue a title of a book came into my mind.  From Blood To Blood.  Hmm, I thought.  What’s this?  I had no idea.  I’d never written a novel before-and honestly I didn’t have the slightest idea what it was even going to be about.  But as I began to listen, the voice of the Lord grew louder and louder.  As I sat at my computer, day after day and night after night-I felt more like a transcriptionist than a writer because the ideas and the storyline–and all of the characters involved were NOT of my creation.  I found myself learning, waiting and wondering what was going to happen next  as I was writing the book!  I even noticed that I would have opinions about what should happen when Astrid drove out to the country house….but as I listened, I was totally wrong about it.  The ending of the book was as much a surprise to me as it is to my readers. 

The last three weeks of writing this novel found me with tears streaming down my face as I saw God’s message unfolding-page after page after page.  It is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read–I can’t say written, because even though I am the author–and my name is on the cover, the Lord himself wrote From Blood To Blood.  I remember questioning Him as I would write–I would want to know, is this REALLY how it happens when this awful abuse happens to people?  Is this REALLY the medical terminology??  Time after time I would write pages and pages of this novel as I watched the events unfold in my mind’s eye, as though someone were standing over my shoulder–telling me the story.  Night after night when I finished–I would google what had happened in the book, just to see if it matched up, because the condition I was writing about–I was NOT familiar with at all….and I wanted to see (I guess I wanted proof) that I wasn’t nuts and that God was showing me this story.  As I googled-I found that the historical data was correct, the geographical data was correct and the disorder symtomology was correct–textbook correct! 

I gave up doubting Him and just let Him lead me and continued to type as I watched the rest of the “movie” unfold in my head.  I would sit for as many as ten hours in a day, barely getting up–hardly eating…sometimes still in my jammies at 7pm at night….and I wouldn’t feel like time had passed at all.  Out of all the pages in From Blood To Blood, I only “authored” one section–and that was later removed because the Lord convicted me.  I had put a romantic love scene in the book….and from the moment I wrote that-I knew it didn’t belong.  I tried to ignore the feeling in my stomach.  I even let the first copies go through the printer before I finally caved in and did a re-edit and removed that content. 

The bottom line is this, if I had stayed in that place after I lost my business, my house, my lifestyle–if I had resented the Christian Friend who was behind the whole thing in the first place–I would never have written that book.  And I believe that writing the first novel was opening a doorway for me to write Kinetic Forgiveness.  My writing experience is the same in this book-I sit down and I hear His words, and I see what I’m supposed to write down.  Only now, instead of googling the terms–I practice the techniques myself.  And they are hard.  Let me tell you-they are hard.  But anything worth changing your LIFE is not supposed to be easy, now is it?  And, personally-I have found healing through Kinetic Forgiveness and it’s not completed yet. 

I cannot express how honored I am that He chose me to author these great messages to his children.  I know that He has a plan for both of my books.  And I know that they will bring people to Him–and they will heal.  I know this because I am one of His children, too–and I am already being brought closer to Him and through practicing the art of Kinetic Forgiveness in my own life–I am healing.  Old wounds don’t hurt like they used to–in fact, I can honestly say that right now in my life–I am blessed on every level.  And that’s the way it should be.  God didn’t create us to be unhappy little blobs that float around on the planet in misery every day of our lives.  He created us in His image to bring glory to His Name.  I am living in a state of gratitude for the lovingkindness of our father.  I may have lost many things in this life–but I haven’t lost my way, because when I was in that dark place–it was God’s hand that reached in and rescued me.


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