Earlier this week I woke up to a morning filled with terrifying heart palpitations and a racing heartbeat which sent me off to the ER. They told me that I was suffering with something called atrial fibrillation. After many blood tests, a chest x-ray and a catscan of my lungs I was given one final dose of the medication which was intended to fix my situation. It did not work. The doctor came into the room and smiled at me and said “you know what this means, right?” “I said yes, you have to shock me.” A flood of nurses and medical students came rushing into the room to watch the procedure. I was so afraid. The nurse had told me that it was going to be painful and would feel like I’d been kicked in the chest by a mule. They gave me a narcotic pain reliever in my IV and prepared me for the shock. Everything moved in slow motion as I closed my eyes and heard the doctor say “clear”. Immediately I heard a gunshot go off in my head and my body was jerked upward. My jaw slammed shut with dynamic force, so hard I was sure that it had broken my teeth. In another second, it was over and my body was released from the electric shock and I relaxed back onto the bed. When I looked up, I saw everyone looking at my monitor. Praise God, the treatment had worked! My irregular heartbeat had become regular and had slowed to a normal pace. I immediately felt better. They ran another EKG scan and the doctor came in and said that it was completely normal and he was going to release me to go home. By this time, my sister and brother were there along with my daughter and her dad, who had taken me to the ER and had been with me the entire time.
When I think about sitting quietly through the storm I realize that I was doing just that on that day. I was in the midst of a situation that was terrifying, painful and uncertain. I prayed as I endured each moment and each level of fear that God would give me the strength to withstand it and that He would heal me. And He did! Even though I was afraid I did not feel alone, which is what I have come to understand has been the same through every traumatic event I have experienced in my life. I have learned that He is always there no matter how terrible the storm feels. I have also learned that storms pass. What seems like forever in the moment really isn’t forever at all. I am very grateful that He was there to comfort me in those moments of fear and panic. I know that He has been there through all of the storms that I have weathered in my life during seasons of loss and upheaval, as well as joy and growth.
I know that it’s difficult to become still in the storm, but God’s promises tell us that if we can do that and use our faith in Him and allow that faith to grow and to reach out toward Him, no matter what our storm is tossing around above our heads or how much debris is flying….He will bring us through to the end of the storm and a sunny day again. Thank you for reading & may God bless you in all ways.